Switzerland = The Georgetown Hoyas (Basketball)

Dual-national Swiss-Albanian winger Xherdan Shaqiri:
the most dangerous Albanian since Adil Hoxha

99.99% of America had never heard of Florida Gulf Coast University until they dunked all over Georgetown in the 2013 NCAA Tournament.

Switzerland is a lot like Washington, DC, and especially the Georgetown neighborhood. Many powerful and influential people, companies and institutions are located there. It's extremely expensive, and people act like they're better than you. Plus, while Georgetown alumni carry themselves with an extreme haughtiness and sense of moral superiority, most of them would probably help you hide Nazi gold if you paid them enough.

Switzerland's football team has never won a knockout stage match at a World Cup. This makes them an ideal match for the Hoyas, who became the first team in history to be eliminated by double digit seeds in 5 consecutive NCAA Tournament appearances. Switzerland are a pretty good squad with some quality players (Bayern Munich's Xherdan Shaqiri, Juventus's Stephan Liechsteiner, and Napoli's Gökhan Inler and Valon Behrami are the most intriguing to watch.), but they are almost surely the most "over-seeded" team in this year's World Cup. How the FIFA rankings determined them to be one of the 7 best teams in the world last fall is anyone's guess. (Some suspect that it's because FIFA is headquartered in Switzerland.) Earning one of the coveted seeds enabled Switzerland to land in a comically easy group with only France near or above their level of talent.

Thanks to their last minute escape of a victory over Ecuador, Switzerland are in the driver's seat to reach the round of 16 as long as they take care of business against lowly Honduras in their final group match. Today's matchup with France is almost a bonus. Then again, most people thought Georgetown would easily handle 15th seed Florida Gulf Coast University, until this happened: